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To be true to my own weirdnesses.
450 days sober. Celebrating by buying books on borderline personality disorder, and having a brief freak-out in a public place that resulted in me destroying private property. Anxiety & insanity...
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Recovery is a Series of (Potential) New Beginnings
Changes are happening! I’m moving in September. Each time I get ready to move, I daydream about my new routine, my new home, my new self. I imagine setting up my spaces just perfectly, waking up early...
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Take Care
When I went to Chicago last March, I got tattooed by Alana Robbie. In 2010, she tattooed a Greyhound bus on my left arm, and this time, she tattooed TAKE CARE on my knuckles. I’d written down hundreds...
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GENDERQUEER KILLJOY
Let me start this by telling you that I am not an encylopedia or a resource pamphlet, and I am only an expert on my own experiences, thoughts, feelings, and actions. I am really tired of explaining to...
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Self-care reminder.
I’m learning that feeling exhausted with everything and wanting to take a break from the world are signs that something is wrong and I need to take better care of myself and make my boundaries more...
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On Being an Introvert (Part One)
Read Part Two here! I’m an introvert. I always have been. And learning more about introversion has been helping me make sense of some of my personality “quirks,” such as a preference for hangouts...
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If This Makes You Feel Awkward, I Don’t Care
♥ PART ONE: Sometimes I Don’t Like Guelph ♥ I write about the search for community a lot, and think about it much more than that, but the truth is, I think I am choosing to give up that search here in...
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I Was the Violent Kid Nobody Knew How to Deal With
I wish I could have a conversation with my childhood self, my teenage self. Although I have mostly accepted that the past cannot be changed, and some of the bad things I lived through are what led me...
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Dear Diary: Depression Makes Me Not Give a Fuck about Being a Good Friend
I might as well tell you the truth. I’m not doing very well right now. What does that mean? It means I’m going through another depression. It means I’m trying to fake confidence and hu$tle my words and...
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Dear Depression: Thank You
A letter for depression, the illness that tries to kill me and, strangely, gives me reasons to stay alive, too. Depression, thank you for helping me recognize when I need to step back and take care of...
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Introvert Studio, know home
(content warning: self-injury, suicidal ideation, all the stuff i write about always) Hello, hello, I went on tour and then I came back to Toronto and I had a mental health suicidal-feelings crisis,...
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Things I’ve Tried to Stay Alive
content warning: self-injury, suicide, overdoses, sexual assault I’ve made myself extremely vulnerable over the years with the details & stories I’ve shared in my zines & on my blog. I feel...
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new zines & a Toronto reading!
Hello, friends! We’ve survived another Winter! I’ve been taking a break from blogging, but not from writing. I have a bunch of new zines to share with you! Telegram #32 contains notes from the Winter...
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borderline personality disorder, psych wards, & friendship
content note: suicide, self-injury, overdose, psych wards, ableism, transphobia, the usual I’m writing a zine about suicide, borderline personality disorder, & friendship, but I’m struggling...
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Take Care
When I went to Chicago last March, I got tattooed by Alana Robbie. In 2010, she tattooed a Greyhound bus on my left arm, and this time, she tattooed TAKE CARE on my knuckles. I’d written down hundreds...
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let yr freak flag fly: on recovery, feelings, magic, & Tarot
Throughout my recovery, I’ve been reconnecting with my teenage self. I still have some objects that were in my bedroom when I was thirteen. I have the first book about witchcraft I’d ever read and...
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friendship, jealousy, & fear of being forgotten
I’ve been grappling with the idea of paranoia as an intense expression of one’s fear of being abandoned or forgotten. I am thinking of abandonment as an experience that happens to one before they have...
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making spaces accessible & scent-free to create opportunities for friendship,...
I’ve been telling my pals I’m gonna write a blog entry about Multiple Chemical Sensitivity soon, but have been avoiding it because I don’t like talking about it. But it feels like it’s time now, so...
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lethargy & optimism
Every November, I experience a particular, familiar fatigue, the same repetitive thoughts from the year before. It is the season when chronic suicidal ideation strengthens, when it takes root and...
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Disrupting Recovery as a Linear Path of Progress
As a traumatized person, I don’t believe exclusively in clock-time, nor do I believe in static, unchanging memories or a linear path to recovery; my memories and my stories change all the time, my...
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